Monday, February 08, 2010

Emergency Exit Row

Many people will take the emergency exit row for extra leg room. The qualifications for said leg room?

  1. Get to the airport early enough to snag one.

  2. Say yes when the flight attendant asks you if you'll be willing to open the door, in case of an unplanned mass exodus.

QSN: I'm not too keen on exit row seats myself because to have one you have to give up your “under the seat in front of you” space. I needs my space! And sometimes the seats are narrower. Or they seem narrower because the arm rest extends all the way to the seat. The should call them exit boxes.


When you sit in an exit row you never think you're going to have to perform the duties you've agreed to. You certainly hope not. But I think about that plane that landed safely in the Hudson and all the emergency exit folks who had to step up. How did they fare? I think punctuality and a head nod are not enough qualifications for such an important and stressful job. We don't know how these people are under pressure.

I say we add a new criterion. If you want to sit in the emergency exit row, you have to thread a needle while people hurl insults at you. I figure if you can maintain focus and hand-eye coordination while someone bags on your favorite tweed blazer and someone else is making you rethink your hairstylist decision, then you should be all set with popping open the door when the plane touches down in a corn field in the middle of nowhere.

I've always vowed that I would take my laptop with me if I had to prematurely exit an airplane. I've got 5 unpublished blogs on this thing. The lap top goes with me! But last year, while home in LA, we had an earthquake. It lasted 30 seconds mind you and I was sitting at my laptop when it hit. I ran out of my place with no shirt on and no shoes...and no laptop.

My mom should find comfort in knowing my survival skills are still in tact and I would rather be naked in public than under a pile of rubble with my laptop.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well I to but I think the collection should have more info then it has.

me! said...

Of course, your emergency aisle criteria is clearly a case of stacking the deck in your own favor. You know how to control a room and shut down a heckler.

(Since I want a shot at that emergency aisle seat, I move for a revision. I'm lousy at threading needles, and I'm very sensitive about my tweed blazer.)

Deana said...

I never sit in that row. Even during the Del Mar Fair season, when I take the bus from the school parking lot to the fairgrounds, I sit as far away from the emergency zone as possible. We neurotics don't go out of our way to be put in situations of additional stress. Especially on a bus or plane when I'm already fearing the onslaught of motion sickness.

Are you supposed to run outside when there's an earthquake? What about duck and covering? Couldn't you have dove under the table with your laptop? At least I know you had clean underwear on. Thank goodness for Gogo.