I saw a guy on The Today show on NBC telling another guy how to approach women. He told him to have good posture and walk into a room like he owns it. Bad Boy Swagger in a box. No doubt women like a confident man. I also recently had a group of women tell me the top thing they want from a man is that he be nice. Now when I say oxy, you say moron....Oxy...Moron...Oxy...Moron. I'm not saying a confident strong guy can't be nice but it's more likely that a nice guy may also prove to be confident and strong. He may not demonstrate those traits right away like James Bond. But when you think about it, most of Bond's girls die. High cost to pay for having the “perfect” guy.
Walking into a room like you own it isn't a habit of most “nice” guys. If you're really nice, why would you want to act like you own something that isn't yours? And even if you did “own” the room wouldn't you be a gracious welcoming host?
I say look for nice and hope you find confidence later. That's much better than seeking out confidence and not finding niceness. Then you're left with what has left a bitter taste in the mouth of many a woman: arrogance.
Arrogance and confidence are nearly impossible to differentiate at first. It's like telling a yam from a sweet potato. It's takes a trained eye. That's why you have to seek out good right away. You shouldn't have to excavate for goodness.
When I think back to the times when I had a swagger or pep in my step I was usually scared and overcompensating. When I'm the big dog in a room I don't act like it, I let others show it for me. Of course all this is held over from or cavemen roots. That's why guys all the world over like girls with a 0.7 hip to waist ratio (google it or yahoo it). But we don't live in caves anymore and society lets the weakest man wield the most power if his brain is powerful.
We can't totally escape our innate nature but to guys I say accept a 0.6 or 0.8 hip to waist ratio and women don't make nice guys act like jerks. What if it's permanent?
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"You shouldn't have to excavate for goodness." Best line of this post, and the only one I will repeat elsewhere. Especially after that waist-to-hip ratio nonsense. I know you, Perk, and I know you can appreciate women of all sizes. I hope you didn't post this to your myspace blog, because from the looks of it, you've got eons of BBW fans that might cry foul.
I like the Sigma male, myself- the man who is cool with who he is and doesn't ever show off. He doesn't have to. That inner confidence will radiate. A man who can win over a woman without brandishing his wallet, driving his car, or removing his t-shirt is the best kind of man. The same applies to ladies in regards to gents. Or at least it should.
but the .7 is a ratio. it doesn't speak to the overall size of the woman. A woman who weighs 400 lbs can still possibly have a .7 hips to waist ratio. more hips, more waist...same ratio. It's the shape. Kind of how a planned city is small and fits on a desk but is to exact scale. :-)
one more thing. Inner confidence does radiate but it takes some longer to see it. And then there is the question of ease and instant gratification. Many people let loud distractions throw them off course. If I'm standing next to a guy who's flailing and throwing money around it might take a minute to ascertain that I'm in fact more confident and grounded.
I liked the yam, sweet potato analogy myself.
I suppose your theory about how the ratio is relative could indeed be true. I'll get you next time, Gadget.
And if the guy who's flailing and throwing money around manages to appeal to a woman more than the quietly confident bystander, then it perhaps says more about the woman than the men. Correct?
Also, what was the yam/sweet potato analogy? I'm guessing I should already know this one.
Walking into a room like you own it isn't a habit of most “nice” guys.
It may, however, be an indicator of bipolar mood disorder.
Sweet potatoes go in pies. That's all my fat ass 0.5 knows!
Fav part "And even if you did 'own' the room wouldn't you be a gracious welcoming host?"
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