Friday, September 08, 2006

You Have the Right to Remain Quenched

I was walking on Larchmont Ave. in the Larchmont section of Los Angeles. The 3 block stretch is probably the quaintest section of the whole city. It’s a place where people walk around with Yoga mats as if they were brief cases. I counted 6 mats in a 10 minute span but I did not see a Yoga studio anywhere. I guess you always have to be prepared. You never know when you’ll have to break out some downward dog on a fool. As I walked I spotted 4 police officers sitting in front of a Jamba Juice enjoying smoothies. I don’t want to paint our boys in blue into a box but could they not find a respectable donut shop. I have some criminal friends and I sleep better at night knowing they can out run most donut eating, coffee drinking out of shape cops on the beat. You haven’t seen police brutality until you’ve seen an irritated officer interrupted from a refreshing Tropical Awakening smoothie. The visual of a cop experiencing brain freeze just doesn’t make me feel safe. I would give 3 to 1 odds that at least 2 of them have headshots.

OFFICER: You have the right to cast me in any films or TV shows you may be producing. If you give up that right any parking tickets you have can and will be used against you…