So my trusty ’08 Saturn Ion was parked and minding its own business on a quite street in Mar Vista, CA when some one decided to tag its windshield with permanent marker.Who does that?I wish I caught the person in the act. Not only to stop them but to seriously ask why.No other car on the block was tagged…some kind of car initiation?Is this the car version of my car being “jumped” in? Although I suppose that act would be way more severe than graffiti writing.
The real comedy is that it happened 4 days ago and I’m still driving around with this guy’s tag on my car.It’s like my car has been turned into a subway train, pretty good for a tagger who lives in a place without a viable subway system. He’s getting play all over Los Angeles and Orange counties.Maybe that’s how he decided.Maybe he checked my odometer and said “This fool be driving!”Or maybe he checked then rubbed his chin like a villain dreaming of world domination…”They’ll know my tag all over the world…or at least everywhere this Saturn goes in the next week….I’ll live forever!...ha ha ha ha”
I’ve been meaning to see if I can get it off but life is what happens while you’re planning a graffiti removal.If I knew I was going to be a mobile ad campaign I would have signed up for something cheesy that pays like a “Watch Monk” Banner or maybe an ad for a Thai/Swedish message parlor.
And what if I can’t get it off?Then this random tagger and I will be linked for the next few years.I’ll show up to premieres with graffiti on my car and paparazzi will think I’m starting a new trend of taking economical cars and turning them into mobile hip-hop galleries. Or maybe they’ll think I’m starting a trend of driving myself to premieres in my “before money” car.
Much like the looks of guys, I can’t judge if a tag is good or bad.You be the judge.
I’ve purposely let some of the dust settle before addressing Michael Jackson’s passing.Well, the initial dust at least.Combine someone at the pinnacle of talent with someone also at the pinnacle of work ethic and you get Michael Jackson.I could watch rewind and watch one Michael Jackson spin over and over.As I’m sure he did that very move over and over until it was a spectacle unto itself.Most famous entertainers know they are lucky to have their fame and fortune.The best rapper knows there are at least a handful of rappers who, if given the right opportunity could take his spot.The same is true for writers, comedians, singers, athletes.But Michael Jackson has no peer.Being great and at the same time non-derivative and completely original is an amazing feat that can not be overstated. You can argue that Michael Jackson stood on the shoulders of Elvis, Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, James Brown, Jackie Wilson.These men were all great in their own right.But Michael Jackson ascended to heights never before seen.It was Michael’s gift that made all his odd fashion and style appeal to us not the other way around.Michael Jackson’s kind of appeal that spans race, culture and age takes more than marketing and hype.It takes magic.It takes an ability to be so pure with your art that you touch people, captivate them and keep them entranced.
It goes beyond music, beyond dancing.MJ’s brand of greatness inspired hope. Just knowing that that kind of greatness existed in the world made people happy.Of course everything comes at a price.And to be that great for that long from such a young age definitely takes a toll.Huge notoriety is usually accompanied with equal depths of loneliness. Imagine having not one person who can truly empathize with you.Imagine being too famous to walk the street…in any country…even the non-industrialized ones.Imagine having scores of people alter their face to look like you.Imagine those same people altering their face again…to look like you. Imagine even your funeral is a sellout and tickets go for thousands of dollars.You don’t have to be behind bars to be a prisoner.
As for his legacy, I’m not sure it’s for me or anyone else to say but the fact that there is even such a great debate speaks to his enormous impact. I can’t begin to psychoanalyze someone I never met but I will say I’ve known people who’ve let something silly as winning a comedy contest go to their head.A comic can go from saying hi to not saying hi overnight.Or how about the person who loses weight and is all of a sudden cocky and aloof.We suffer these people because we know the human condition can be kooky.Now imagine being the most famous entertainer on the planet and one of the richest.You don’t think you would do some things that might seem odd to the broke masses. We’re talking about a guy who from age 10 would have his clothes ripped off by people he never met if he walked alone in public.
We forgot that he was a person.Maybe he forgot too.He belonged to the public.He was ours to emulate, spy on, question, make fun off. I’m not saying he should be absolved of wrong doing.I’m saying you can’t fully judge a man until you moonwalk a mile in his penny loafers.I don’t have a comment on the child thing except to ask, who are the parents who would let their children spend a minute with an accused molester?Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and maybe I’m using my kid as bait.
Also lost in the discussion is the fact that he was a great singer, especially as a child.Don’t let the glove fool you.His singing voice and vocal arrangements were as captivating as his dance moves.You ever wonder how Michael Jackson came up with “cha-mon?” Even something as simple as saying “cha-mon” instead of “come on” is brilliant.
QSN:Even before Michael’s passing I had decided to start saying “Cha-Mon” instead of “Come-on.” Now that MJ is no longer with us I think it’s even more apropos.“50 dollars for this chair?! Cha-mon! You gotta be kidding me.
I think the real debate should be what decade of his work is the best.Most would say the 80’s.I say go Youtube Mike in the 70’s with his brothers as a child and a young adult.It’s mind bending. The 90’s gave us Heal the World, You are Not Alone. Remember the Time, the Free Willy Song. He even “Rocked My World” in this decade.
His legacy?Well…Name one other person who can encourage a whole Filipino prison population to do a choreographed group dance to his music*.We’re talking prison where even the slightest sign of weakness will be exploited within an inch of death. And scores of grown bad asses can lift the tough guy code for a few minutes to join in on a Michael Jackson video reenactment.I’m going to stab you with a makeshift knife I made out of cardboard…right after our Thriller rehearsal.
Just think, Bad, Dangerous, History I & II all came after Thriller.So after he made the most listened to album ever he followed it up with another 3 classics!It’s sad to see a true icon and public servant go but luckily for us he left us with such an expansive catalogue of music, and videos that even generations to come will know his greatness and flip out over his work.
*The famous Filipino inmates have now done other songs and artists. But like always, the other dances can’t come close to the Michael Jackson one.
I spent the good part of today and yesterday moving stuff into storage.I actually counted my box trot as a workout.Carrying boxes or bags weighing 20-30 pounds down a flight of stairs over and over again has to count for something.I actually call it the IRS workout, taxing indeed.:-)
As I loaded up the Saturn it dawned on me how strenuous my current activity was.It also dawned on me that as a country we have an obesity problem. The problem is massive.I would go so far as to say our obesity problem is, well, obese. I smell a win-win situation.Everyday scores of people in our country have to move truck loads of stuff.And for every mover there must be 20 people within a 1 mile radius not very happy with their own radius.
I’m saying maybe we should mandate that the portliest of our brethren help people move.
JUDGE: This court has found you guilty of being on the verge of obesity…I hear by sentence you to help Dwayne move…
Jenny Craig ain’t got nothing on lugging a sofa with a pullout bed. Pilates does though.
The other night I was driving on a California highway when a state trooper a few cars ahead of me put on his flashing lights and started driving across all the lanes in an “S” pattern.I’ve seen this before.They do it to stop traffic for workers or an accident.Imagine having that kind of power, legal swerving across all the lanes and the cars behind you have to stop.I hope the police officer said “weeee!” as he drove in spirals.I didn’t see any workers or an accident.Perhaps the cause of the spiral stoppage was beyond my sight.Or maybe the officer did this for the same reason I would….no reason at all.
I would do this just to make the highway almost like the start of a Nascar race. Seems irresponsible but remember I would still be in a cop car and the drivers would be scared to peel out knowing I was near.It would be more like the start of Nascar caravan.
Maybe we should give drunk drivers police lights so at least everyone else will adjust to them.
Much like financial investments it’s best to diversify your workout regime. I’ve always been interested in Pilates. To me Pilates is like Yoga without the chanting and sage (the spice or the mystic) I even have a Windsor Pilates workout tape that I’ve had for 6 years and never used. But I’ve been meaning to. I mean if it’s good enough for Daisy Fuentes its good enough for me.
So I was very pleased last year when a friend of mine opened up a Pilates Studio in Long Island. And I was game when she asked me to come do a session and be photographed. My friend’s studio, PILATES ABSESSION, employs the Pilates machines. The machines look like torture devices and sure enough my friend Karen tortured me. Don’t you worry though, if you go she’ll make sure your workout is strenuous but suited for your fitness level. But we have an unspoken fitness challenge that had been brewing for a while. She won. It was a blowout actually. Pilates is the truth. It definitely works. Karen is a mother of three and I would rather be back to back with her in a bar fight than with most guys I know. Let’s just say if Houdini did Pilates he would have survived that sucker punch to his belly.*
Until Karen reminded me last week, I had forgotten there were picture of the butt whipping. When your muscles are shaking from trying to hold a pose any pictures taken are truly candid. I guess one was good enough to make the cut and now you can see me on the registration page of the Pilates studio.
This gives me impetus to work harder and become a household name. How cool would it be to go to a web page and see Johnny Deep doing Hip Hop abs. But this blog is about Pilates and my foray into modeling. It’s official, I’m a male model. I hope one day that pic of me will be a trivia question like Cuba Gooding Junior getting his haircut in Coming To America…sans lines.
Daisy Fuentes where are you? Call me. Let’s do lunch.
So I was on line looking for sample movie treatments.A treatment is a brief synopsis describing a movie.People usually write them to secure funding before writing an entire script.Of course I work backwards and needed to write a treatment for a movie script I’ve already written. (Brooklyn, we go hard.) Well, a movie I’ve co-written (South Pasadena goes hard as well)
I came across a treatment for a movie called Bly, the true story of Nelly Bly.Here’s an excerpt from that treatment:
The true story of Nellie Bly, a penniless young woman in 1890s New York
who claws her way up from obscurity to revolutionize journalism and then becomes her own biggest story when she races around the globe to shatter the record of Jules Verne’s legendary hero in Around the World in 80 Days – a feat which makes her the most famous woman on earth…
She sounds like a pretty amazing woman.But here’s what made my eyes go wide.Nellie Bly is the name of a second rate amusement park near Coney Island, Brooklyn.I grew us walking past Nellie Bly and I never knew it was named after a great American.To find this out makes me sad.This woman went around the World faster than anyone else; she exposed corruption in the mental health field as an undercover journalist.She basically shattered any expectations the world had for a woman born in 1864.And we honor her with a shabby amusement park?Nellie Bly is lower on the amusement park totem pole than Coney Island’s Astroland which itself has become second rate compared to current amusement parks.
Ok…let’s say Six Flags is the Lakers. Coney Island would be the Clippers and the NellieBlyPark would be the guys playing basketball on VeniceBeach.(Disney Land would be Manchester United, a totally different massive animal)
Okay, I’ll admit this great American’s name does make for a great amusement park moniker but I just hope the kids remember who she was in the back of their minds as they say weeee…on the hammer ride.
If I get the Puffer Fish I’ve been wanting for ages, maybe I’ll name it Nellie Bly.Would that be honoring her?
The other day I walked into a bar/restaurant to meet some friends. On my way to my friends’ table I ran into another friend. I made a slight detour and stopped to chat for a sec with the friend I had bumped into. As we chatted some of her friends arrived. Introductions were made and I said hi to the new comers. I shook each of their hands and repeated each of their names. As I started to excuse myself (remember, I still had my original friends waiting) a girl I had just met from my detour table said to me NEW GIRL: I don’t want to interrupt your phone call!
Huh? Then I realized I had my Bluetooth still on. I had parked my car minutes before and I forgot that I still had it on. So then I said… ME: I’m sorry but I’m not on the phone. I just got out of my car and--
NEW GIRL: Right…Well when I get out of my car I take off my sunglasses…
Huh? I’m not capturing her tone here. She was implying that I was being all “Hollywood”. I let the first dig go but the second one was totally uncalled for. I don’t think one forgotten Bluetooth leave-in is enough to be labeled rude or “Hollywood”.
I was about to explain to her that as it what night time, to leave your shades on would be a much graver offense. Mainly because to leave shades on at night, a person would be actively choosing blindness to pull of a look. I on the other hand forgot I had the stupid Bluetooth, which I’m mandated by the state to wear when I’m driving and talking, on.
Later on I shared the story with my Ace Boon Coon (aka homeboy.) He was convinced that the girl actually liked me and was trying to get my attention. Huh? She had my attention. It made perfect sense after I thought about it. My detour table had a bunch of stand-up comics that I didn’t know, so maybe there was hierarchy tension I didn’t unnoticed. Also, the New Girl’s dig came after I announced that I would have to go to my original destination table. Was that her sarcastic last ditch effort to get me to stay and banter?
Whatever the case, I didn’t speak to that girl again for the rest of the night. Even on my way out I said goodbye to detour table but not to her directly. What are your thoughts?
It seems the world over seeks attention. It’s almost the real currency and money is just a symptom of attention. My inadvertent Bluetooth leave-in maybe sent a signal to detour table that I thought I was more important or that I wasn’t going to pay full attention to them. That I was a click away to bigger, better more important voices coming into my right ear.
It didn’t mean that but funny how New Girl taking it that way caused her to be actually ruder than my Bluetooth leave-in suggest I may have been.
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