Superman Has Left The Building

Sometimes it's okay to be outside in your underwear. Check my latest blog.
Superman Has Left The Building

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latest blog "Knick Names"

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They Might Be Giants

Congratulations to my NY Giants for winning another Superbowl. It was a most ripping victory. The Giants are football royalty. Being a Giants fan means you get to see your team go all the way every few years. Being a Jets fan means you get to route for the Giants every few years.

The most compelling thing about the Giants is that their fearless leader doesn’t look fearless or like a leader. Yet the quiet Giant has two Superbowl rings and all of New York City is feeling the noise. Now, the Knicks have an Asian point guard, who graduated from Harvard, driving the whole country bananas.

That’s what’s great about sports. The results trump the preconceived notions. Eli still looks dopey but it’s a fact that he captured a most elusive spoil twice over. What happens in other arenas where there’s no one keeping score? We allow our selves to be tricked is what happens. Truth is clouded by marketing tactics. We judge books by the cover. Some of the toughest people look the nerdiest. Some of the nerdiest looking are the most dull. Obviously sight is usually the first sense activated in most situations so to pre-judge is unavoidable. However at some point we must do the math and tally reality into our assessment.

I love that people I grew up with can attest that I’m from the hoods that rappers rap about. Some of those rappers are not from the hoods they rap about. Millionaire Rick Brown won the senator race in Massachusetts and said “I'm Scott Brown, I'm from Wrentham, I drive a truck...” I guess to say, “I’m one of you.” Yeah, and serial killers recycle but that doesn’t make them green. Clearly perceptions and norms come from somewhere. Those perceptions are there for a reason. They do exist. I don’t think we should look for exceptions or to confirm what we already think. Just allow the truth of every situation to present itself. Eli is elite, Jeremy Lin can ball and I should be in Paris getting effed up. :-)

Is Brooklyn in The House (without a doubt...)

I had a groovy time last night at my show in San Francisco at the Punchline. It’s one of these clubs where the crowd is smart enough to get heady concepts yet down to earth enough to laugh at fart jokes. I try to make my comedy a marriage between smart and silly so the Punchline is right up my alley.

The most notable audience member was a girl I went to elementary school with in Brooklyn. Veronica was in my same class from grades 1-6. She was the smartest person in my class. (I’m keeping myself out of contention, for all my readers whose jaws just dropped. :-) We also lived in the same building. She’s from a concrete Brooklyn jungle raised during the crack years and she went to Stanford and is now a civil engineer. I’m as proud of her making it out of the hood by way of education and she is of me making it out by way of jokes. She was clearly on a trajectory for greatness even as a child. Veronica was always well behaved and studious. I was always studious but no one ever accused me of being well behaved.

I see there’s a Chinese dad in New York making his toddler run in the snow with his underwear on. The father calls himself the Eagle dad. It’s a part of the father’s “toughen up” regimen. Huh?? The boy is 4 years old. For every child hazed by their parents I can show you a child raised with leniency that will accomplish just as much. I really don’t feel all that bad for the boy. It’s just snow and he’ll be fine and maybe it will toughen him up. I just question the effectiveness of it all. Nothing trumps love. I’m sure my childhood friend was held to a high standard growing up but I’m also sure that she was loved. I never even had a curfew growing up but again, I was loved.

My father took my pacifier away from me at a very young age. Tough Love. Making a four year old run half naked through snow? Bananas! I don’t believe in coddling but I also don’t believe in treating a child like he’s a Navy Seal. The video doesn’t show the parents, but unless the father was out there in the cold with his undies on I call BS.

If you want your kids to be productive members of society try cutting off the TV, limiting video games, cutting out processed foods. When levying out discipline ask yourself child development or Russian secret service training. I don’t think Veronica was ever forced to run in the show. Dodging bullets was challenging enough.

Boy walking in the snow:

http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_c3#/video/world/2012/02/09/yoon-boy-snow-china.cnn

Oldie But Goodie

I did a show in Hollywood last Saturday night and the comic before me was 92 years old. He started comedy when he was a wily 91. He actually did very well and was quite astute at joke telling.

Right now you might be feeling bad about yourself. You should, but you should also be emboldened that the adage that it’s never too late to be what you could’ve been is a real thing. I don’t see Max selling out the Staples Center or starring in a buddy cop action comedy* any time soon but to have your health and wits about you enough to tell jokes at 92 is amazing.

A 92 year old gets the same crowd support that an 8 year old would get. The audience wants them to do well and is already impressed that they’re even on the stage. It’s adorable. The fact that Max hit every joke dead on was a very welcomed bonus.

What have we learned? For 1 comedy obviously keeps the mind sharp and secondly it’s never too late. So pick up the phone and get the old band back together.

*QSN(Quick Side Note): If Max did star in an action buddy cop movie what would it be called?

• Old But Not Yeller
• Geriatric Tactics
• I’m Actually Too Old For This S@$t!
• The Early Bird Special
• Stop! or I’ll Poop

Off Da Hook

I was recently at a fellow comic’s house. I consider him a peer. A peer with 2 kids in High School. He’s older than me and maybe he started young but still a peer with children looking at colleges can make a guy feel long in the tooth. These thoughts were not really at the forefront of my mental though. They were more like a program running silently in the background.

Then something happened that made the “The feeling old” app run in the foreground. and close all the other apps running in my head. My friend's daughter made a phone call on her cell. I guess she was calling a home line that was busy. She turned to her dad and said

DAUGHTER: Dad, there’s like a buzzing sound.

FATHER: Let me hear it. Oh that’s a busy signal. It’s what you get when someone is at home and on the phone and they don’t have call waiting.

She had lived 14 years and never once heard a busy signal! She probably thinks Bon Jovi is an actor, Mark McGrath is a game show host and Charles Barkley is a sports commentator who gets away with more than most commentators do.

After feeling old for the next few hours I thought of the implications of never hearing a busy signal. It means never waiting. I know I’m dangerously close to saying..”In my day...” From a technology standpoint I realize I had it easy growing up but I actually heard someone in a commercial say “That was so 27 seconds ago”

Is there a point where convenience becomes debilitating? A point where we eliminate work at the expense of eliminating coping skills? I won’t say “in my day....” but I will say we are dangerously close to that point of uselessness. How many times have you stayed on the channel you were watching because you couldn’t find the remote? Completely forgetting that pressing the buttons on the TV or cable box was an option.

I’m old enough to know what a busy signal is but I’m also old enough to call back or to write and send a letter in the mail and to look up things in a phonebook if needed. It’s not exactly living off the land but yes, I am stronger than most kids today. :-) Am I’m up on the times as well. I don’t even own a home phone, so there.

For a blog on luxury turned silly peep my blog about the Al Burj Hotel in Dubai.

Life Imitating Life

A while back I wrote about the frequent but implausible way things happen in twos. I coined the occurrence a God Wink. Say the word ramp then you hear someone on TV say the word ramp a beat after you. That's a God Wink. Just a little nudge that suggests the randomness may not be that random after all. Though clearly beyond our scope of current understanding.

I recently listened to a set I did in Sacramento. Watching yourself is tough but if you don't know your past... I was doing my new favorite joke. In the joke a disgruntled person at a hospital asks to speak to a manager. Don't worry I haven't given away the meat and potatoes of the joke. While my made up character was complaining to a made up worker some guy in the audience near my camera was complaining to a real waitress and demanding to speak to a real manager. Apparently his beef was over the two drink minimum. Seemed he thought getting a hot tea and then having it refilled should count as two drinks. I didn't notice while I was on stage. A sign of the professionalism of the Punchline staff. Also, a sign that I was doing well and the laughter of the less miserly patrons drowned out Old One Tea Willie.

The man actually said the word manager a beat after my character did. I could tell at that point he was no longer listening to me so we independently asked to speak to a manager at the same time. Neither my character or One Tea Willie got what they wanted but I got a God Wink and another reason to suck it up and watch one of my sets every now and then.

Quick Side Note:

I once experienced a God Wink on my way to get pho (Vietnamese noodle soup)