A few weeks ago I found myself in a Mcdonald's in New York City at 2am. Not my proudest moment or the best way to treat myself but the Golden Arches beckoned me. The Apple Pocket tastes better at 2am (pie is something you eat with a fork.) In fact, as the night passes, the fried apple slab continues to get tastier every hour until the Sun comes up and with it rises your better judgment.
I'm in line waiting to order my setback when the the guy in front of me, having ordered his nuggets with an extra side sauce with some difficultly and slurred words, turned his attention to me. Did he need me to supplement his meal? As I looked at him looking at me, he did the drunk finger in the air as you ponder move. There's no telling where that finger's going to come down and what it's going to do. On this night the finger came down into a point in my direction. Followed by...
GUY: I know you! You're funny dude. Hey this guy is famous! What are you doing in McDonald's?!
Why I'm getting a meal I'm going to instantly regret, of course. Isn't that what we're all doing here? I enjoy getting recognized from time to time and my Mickey D's cohort was friendly and clearly a fan. I wonder if I get any more “famous” if I'll have to give up occasional 2am Mcdonald's runs.
MY STOMACH: Come on man get famous already!...Please!
Or maybe I'll be given the coordinates to the hidden McDonald's that other famous people go to. Then I could enjoy my Apple Pocket in the VIP section. Denzel, are you gonna finish those fries?
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5 comments:
I don't know. I always took Denzel for more of a Wendy's guy.
"Hey this guy is famous!" should always be followed by "Trust me!" Ahh, at least he meant well.
The thing that's funny to me (not "ha-ha" funny, "weird" funny) is this widespread perception that "fame" is a magical transformative stardust of some kind. Maybe Robin Leach did such a great job of hammering the phrase "rich-and-famous" into our brains that we now think of it as one word.
So now, any time some producer wants to make a reality show, the candidates line up dutifully, fully prepared to humiliate themselves in front of a camera simply because it's a camera. I honestly don't get it.
You're an entertainer, so obviously fame is a necessary part of the equation for your line of work. As your career proceeds, it serves as both a product of and a contributor to your success.
But it's a necessary evil of the business, I think, and not the prize itself.
As you move from almost-famous to famous (a "when" question, not an "if" question, methinks), the challenge will go beyond 2am McDonald's sightings. Because so many people buy into the whole fame-as-stardust hokem, the challenge becomes one of learning to measure people with a keen eye to their possible ulterior motives and agendas and getting a clear bead on whom you can trust and who is just kissing up.
Oh, wait. You live in L.A. You already knew that.
Very well put me! It's like watching MTV cribs. We all live the same more or less. Master P has a gold faucet but regular water comes out when he turns the knob. Not magical water. And famous and broke isn't a condition I would wish on anyone.
One aspect of MTV Cribs always killed me, and it seemed to occur in just about every episode.
Rock-star/pro-wrestler/hip-hop-artist greets the camera crew at the front door.
We follow said celebrity into the foyer...
Immediately stage left of the foyer is the dining room. It is formal in the extreme with an over-the-top chandelier, Baccarat crystal, the works. Ornate wood furnishings and a table scaled for landing small aircraft.
Realizing that the set-piece is more appropriate for a soon-to-be headless French monarch than a rock-star/pro-wrestler/hip-hop-artist, the celebrity invariably waves towards the room and says somewhat sheepishly:
(Cue celebrity in three...two...one...)
"That's the dining room. We never use it."
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