Twice Written, Once Why (Funny Blog from Comedy Central's Dwayne Perkins)

So my trusty ’08 Saturn Ion was parked and minding its own business on a quite street in Mar Vista, CA when some one decided to tag its windshield with permanent marker. Who does that? I wish I caught the person in the act. Not only to stop them but to seriously ask why. No other car on the block was tagged…some kind of car initiation? Is this the car version of my car being “jumped” in? Although I suppose that act would be way more severe than graffiti writing.

The real comedy is that it happened 4 days ago and I’m still driving around with this guy’s tag on my car. It’s like my car has been turned into a subway train, pretty good for a tagger who lives in a place without a viable subway system. He’s getting play all over Los Angeles and Orange counties. Maybe that’s how he decided. Maybe he checked my odometer and said “This fool be driving!” Or maybe he checked then rubbed his chin like a villain dreaming of world domination…”They’ll know my tag all over the world…or at least everywhere this Saturn goes in the next week….I’ll live forever!...ha ha ha ha”

I’ve been meaning to see if I can get it off but life is what happens while you’re planning a graffiti removal. If I knew I was going to be a mobile ad campaign I would have signed up for something cheesy that pays like a “Watch Monk” Banner or maybe an ad for a Thai/Swedish message parlor.

And what if I can’t get it off? Then this random tagger and I will be linked for the next few years. I’ll show up to premieres with graffiti on my car and paparazzi will think I’m starting a new trend of taking economical cars and turning them into mobile hip-hop galleries. Or maybe they’ll think I’m starting a trend of driving myself to premieres in my “before money” car.

Much like the looks of guys, I can’t judge if a tag is good or bad. You be the judge.