I think I’m going to get some shirts made up that say “DON’T UP SELL ME” on the front in bold letters. It would save me a lot of time during the day. No matter what you’re buying they are always trying to sell you a more, shall I say, “premium” deal. Just rifle through my pockets and get it over with.
Wanna go large...For only 3 more dollars a day you could…Wanna try our deluxe…We also offer…before you hang up, wanna join our gold protection...that one is ok but to really enjoy HD…Oh that button doesn’t work with your plan, but to activate it…
I’m sure that if you hired Dr Kevorkian* to kill you, right before he did he would say…
DR KEVORKIAN: You know for an additional hundred I can make this euthanasia even quicker and even less painful. You’ll take it?...Great! Now for an additional grand I can cure you and eliminate the need to kill you. It’s only a grand more!
If the latter service they try to pawn off on you is so great and the former so not and strictly for losers then the question becomes…why do they even have the former. So the thing you already sold me is trash?
The other problem with all this up selling is that it makes the lines go that much slower. I just want the base model but now I have to stand there for 12 minutes while a hard of earring 80 year old women toys with the idea of getting satellite radio, road side assistance and a sunroof on her mercury Topaz car rental.
No place is this more prevalent that the Post Office-----àWARP BLOG***
At least Vegas works in reverse. They down sell you until you have nothing but your shattered dreams left. In Vegas there’s nickel and penny slots in the airport. It’s like they’re saying…why even bother taking that nickel home. Come on, fork it over. Would you leave a swig of Kool Aid in the container? No you would finish it off. Give it here.
*Kevorkian – Doctor who assisted terminally ill people commit suicide
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Kevorkian
*** A new thing I do when a blog inspires another blog. It’s for when a Quick Side Note takes on a life all its own….Or am I trying to up sell you to read another free blog? Look for this blog’s WARP in a day or two.
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When I bought my house, it came with the autumn gold gas stove from Sears that the former owners had since the 70's and the 150.00 used apartment fridge I brought with me.
After a decade or so and only one burner working on the stove, the freezer refusing to shut because of the frost and my own version of slots - the laundromat - I decided to purchase new appliances.
The overly cheery, overly cologned sales man approached and I held up my hands and said "Stop, I am going to be your fastest sale of the day. I am not going to waste your time - I want the lowest priced, most basic model you have in each of these areas. I am not interested in self cleaning this or ice-cube markers. I don't need to be able to do 17 pairs of jeans."
I felt like I had just told him I had run over his dog by the look on his face, but it was a quick and painless process and I was out of there in 15 minutes and he was on to the next customer who thought a TV, fridge with in a fridge might just be what they were looking for after all...but didn't they originally come in for a humidifier???
I can't wait for the next blog.
Happy Holidays, Kiddo. You are still the classiest man I have never met. ;)
xok
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