Hold the Beets please

I walked past beets yesterday in the supermarket. Just seeing them made me slightly ill. Beets are pretty disgusting. I think we can all agree on that. When the Palestinians and the Israelis sit down for peace talks they should start every meeting by agreeing that beets are disgusting. “Now that we can agree on something let’s start with the talks. West Bank, what say you?”

I think they call them beets because that’s what my mother had to do to me to get me to eat them. I was first introduced to beets under very false pretenses. At age 5, I had already had the wonderful pleasure of eating cranberry sauce. So when I saw beets I had high hopes for the taste of cranberry. Can someone give a brother a heads up! Not only do I not like beets, I don’t trust them either. Those beets knew they weren’t cranberry sauce.